Still Beginning

For most of my life I've been interested in one thing: Drawing. Ever since I watched my first Disney movie and even before that I loved to draw and doodle, in fact it was hard to keep my interest in little else because of the urge and interest I had in drawing. When I did draw I entered another world full of possibilities and a realm in which to express my imagination.

I didn't always do the best art and I remembered so much frustration when my drawing skills seemed subpar to other kids it seemed to come naturally for. I see these frustrations in my step son who loves to draw and spend so much time into expressing his own imaginative world.

Looking back, my family supported my interest in art and even encouraged me to follow my dream of becoming an animator for Disney Studios, but alas here I am. I'm 34 years old, married and supporting a child and still living in the home town I grew up in. I'm not an illustrator for Disney, I don't sell my art work and it seems that there is little time to pursue art with the fervor I need to get better and to grow as an artist.

I don't want people (my family included) to feel that I am in anyway dissapointed with where I'm at, but there is that child like part of me, the one who wanted to be an artist at Disney and be a part of the magic that is Disney, that looks back and thinks "what if?" I'm not getting any younger and there are fears about the future after college and what I will be able to do with my Graphic Design degree. I think it's the same fear that all students have when dealing with the unknown, but it means more to me; drawing, illustration, design... they are my life, they are what I'm good at (in my mind anyway). I also realize that I haven't pursued it with the fervor I should so I realize that my short comings are to blame.

This all may stem from the fact that the art world is a highly competitive field and looking at the works of art that I have found on DA sometimes puts things into perspective and makes me feel that I don't add up or that I'll ever add up to the quality I see. If that is true, then what have I been doing with my life? Where am I going with all this? It just feels like I'm still beginning even though I'm in my mid 30s and that can be disheartening at times.

Wow! I wasn't expecting to say that much or go on about my life story. I hope those that read this (if there is anyone who reads this) who have the gift of art that comes naturally... don't squander that. If you can find your nitch at an early age or if you have an idea of what you want to be when you grow up, HOLD ON TO THAT!

Never let ANYONE say you can't.

Never let someone elses dreams steer you away from what you really want to do.

Never approach your art, music or writing half hearted; go at it with a gusto that keeps you interested that pursuit.

Find your muse and find and your own voice.

You could be the next Van Gogh, the next Divinci, the next Beethoven, the next Poe. Always remember that God has given each of us a gift and it is ultimately our choice of wether or not we will make use of that gift.

'nuff said.